This story was based on the Babylon 5 universe by J. Michael Straczynski. The Long Trial, Part Two Chapter 14ÑChasing Dreams By R. Bernstein The next day, her and Sinclair discussed the assignments. "Delenn will be able to command the Anla Shok on Babylon 5 without much help for a little while, until weÕre ready to give John Sheridan more information. Even though her credibility has taken a hit because of her removal from the Council, she is still at the head of the Religious Caste, at least for those Minbari on Babylon 5. And as an ambassador and ex-Council member, she still has a lot of influence. You may want to make a trip there to coordinate with her, and to help some of the new Rangers there to tap into your networks and contacts in Down Below. But IÕll need you here for a little while. First, I want you to help the HealerÕs Guild to prepare for the worst-case scenario. You have emergency management planning experience. They havenÕt had to deal with a national emergency on their own soil in a thousand years, and while I know they try to be prepared for everything, there is a lack of real life experience. They need to have their hospital areas set up for massive influxes of patients, civilian patients, for disease control under those conditions, and for the disposal of large numbers of corpses, sudden evacuation, and other such things. You will have to do so at their whim because the Warrior Caste is currently not addressing that possibility in the civilian sector, and the Grey CouncilÕs hands are tied. This is where I need your diplomacy. YouÕll have to collaborate with the care providers without attracting too much attention, and without much aid from the Council." "Whew. IÕll just see if I can wink my eyes and make it rain too. Although, I think it might actually be easier here because of the nature of health care. Doctors donÕt seem to be as overwhelmed on a day-to-day basis. They may already have it covered." "Good. Another thing I will need from you, as soon as you finish that assignment, is information from Earth. If this war comes, and it looks as though it might, Minbar is going to be a big player, but because of our alliance, so is Earth, and there are some pretty big power struggles going on in both places right now. We need to keep our ear to the ground now more than ever, but not just about these Shadows. ThereÕs a lot of conflict heating up between the Narn and Centauri. It looks like they might be at war soon. There are a lot of storms to watch, Havah. Distraction is the perfect time for predators to move in. No matter how powerful they are, they will just wait until everyone is embroiled in their own problems, and then sit back and watch us do half of their work for them, and move in when everyone is divided. It is going to be a dangerous watch, but I need to know what is going on with Earth Gov, and I canÕt send a Minbari for that. YouÕve worked for the government, and for the military, so you have contacts, but not so close that you are a threat. And I want you to set up a network of Rangers to stay and work the inside." "Yes sir. What about ZÕhadum? Should we try to get some idea whatÕs going on there?" Sinclair sighed and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his eyes and face. "No. ItÕs way too risky. We would need to get someone in without being seen, and unless you have some talent or technology that you havenÕt told me about. Part of our advantage right now depends on their not knowing how much we know." Havah sighed. "YouÕre right. But my curiosity is eating me alive. IÕd like to know more about what happened to the Icarus." "Get in line. Curiosity is exactly what theyÕre counting on. Well, we know that the Icarus encountered these beings, and that a man listed as Morden survived. IÕd like to know more about him, but thatÕs a risky game of cat and mouse. It appears that these Shadows accompany him, and there would be very little way to know when. No, I want you to go to Earth. There are still too many holes in our information. With your experience in emergency management, I can get you assigned under someone in the Earth Alliance Emergency Management Agency. YouÕll have more contact with different groups there than you will under any of the senators. They tend to have access to only a few committees, and depending on the senator, and how bad things really are, they may start to lose access to certain types of informationÉYou wouldnÕt happen to be a latent telepath by any chance would you?" "Nope. Sorry. Why?" "Well, my gut tells me that Psi-Corps is in on whatever is going on there, and IÕm wishing that I could get someone into Psi-Corps." "What did you say earlier? ÔGet in line!Õ." He grinned. "IÕll contact Carmen and get copies of the readiness plan for health care facilities, and see if I can meet with some of the civilian providers and see what they think of it. ItÕll be better if they take it up themselves." "Good. IÕll arrange for your assignment to Earth." * * * * * * * * It was good to see her old supervisor again. She hadnÕt changed a bit. Carmen talked for about a minute, was interrupted about three times, and finally got to what Havah was looking for. After transmitting the readiness plan, Carmen put a few different staff members on to say hi. "We all miss you, sweetie. Stop by if youÕre in the area." After Havah got off the horn, she reviewed the document, noted where changes would need to be made, and contacted Kral Situr. Havah knew her vaguely from her arrival, and had learned that she was on the HealerÕs Guild Council. That would be a logical place to start. She met with the kral in her office. The telepath could sense HavahÕs nervousness, and sat patiently. Havah scratched her head, trying to figure out how to broach the subject delicately. She had never been one for mincing words so she just started in. "Kral, IÕm here because I wanted to share an idea with you that you might find useful. I donÕt know much about your medical system, so itÕs possible that you will be already familiar with this, or wonÕt find any value in it, but I am here to discuss civilian emergency readinessÉ" Rather than bring up the possibility of invasion, she just paused to let the kral come to whatever conclusion she might. Situr leaned forward, interested. "Let me see what you have brought." Havah handed it to her. And Situr reviewed it pensively for a few minutes, and then sat back not saying anything for a few moments, thinking. Then she slowly nodded. "Yes, this is a concern. You mean to be ready for the coming darkness, yes? Although it is good to be ready for other contingencies as well. It is something that we have been considering and moving towards, but not fast enough. We are not ready as we should be. I think perhaps it is complacency. We are so confident that nothing could ever happen here, so we consider our time to be greater than it may be. I will ask for a meeting of the Guild and make a case before them to move up hazards training. Those among the Warrior Caste should be able to help us with this. It is not a pleasant consideration, but must be dealt with. I will also show them this document, although we will have to develop our own, in accordance with Minbari regulations. We may borrow from this document, and if so, will call you if necessary, but this must be done by the Minbari healers, you understand." "Completely, Kral Situr." "Thank you for bringing this and reminding me of this priority, Anlashok Lassee. It is nice to see you again. I hope you are well." She bowed formally. Havah returned it, and left. That was too easy, she thought. * * * * * * * * And she was right. Not more than a day later, Satai Neroon paid a visit, with a tall aide striding behind him to keep up with his cantankerous mentor. "Anlashok Lassee! I just received word from the HealerÕs Guild that you paid one of their members a visit to discuss emergency readiness. First of all, they have existed for over a thousand years conducting their business perfectly well before you ever came to plague our existence. It is arrogance to assume that they require any assistance from you! That is a matter for the Warrior Caste, and when last I could see, you may try to dress like one of us, but you will never be able to fill our shoes. Second, do not assume that because you have foolishly been admitted to the Anla Shok that you have any place in our affairs, or in our society. You do not, and you never will! I will remind you as well, that your prime ally here has been returned to Babylon 5, where she belongs! She no longer has the power to keep you in favor, or out of trouble, as she has demonstrated her disregard for her people herself." He pivoted and would have left, but Havah resented the attack on Delenn. "Why Satai? Because she became part Human, in appearance? I was led to believe that the Minbari respected privacy? If she chose to make such a change, what business is it of anyone elseÕs?" He swiveled again and faced her, his dark eyes burning holes in her as his face drew close. "Such a comment can only demonstrate how little you know or care for the Minbari! Her appearance and her choices matter to all of us. We are a people in a way that a Human such as yourself could never understand, and what happens to one affects all of us! She has made herself an abomination, an aberration of nature, a creature that would not exist except for the meddlings of foreigners and the experiments of tyrants! With luck, her mutation will end with her and not be passed on to sully the blood and spirit of future generations!" He gave her a meaningful look, scanning her up and down, and it became obvious that he was not just talking about Delenn. He knew, at least about her heritage, if not about his own involvement. How did he know? Of course, he was Grey Council now. Who knew how much they knew about anything? Her breath died in her throat along with any response she could have fashioned, and she brushed past him, not caring anymore how disrespectful that might seem. He was only too happy to be rid of her presence. Perhaps at last someone had gotten through to her, and they wouldnÕt have to see any more of her. As she stalked away, Trell had come to meet her, having not seen her for a great while, and wanting to talk again. He saw NeroonÕs glowering form walking away in the other direction, and easily guessed the source of her distress. Normally, he would have left her alone out of respect, but something compelled him to follow her. "Havah, wait!" He caught up to her in a small dark glade. No one was around. "Wait. Are you alright? I saw Neroon. I know things have been badÉ" Her face crumpled into silent tears. She plopped down on a bench and put her face into her hands. Trell was instantly at her side, and pulled her into his arms, unashamed by her display. He said nothing, just waited, holding her until the spasms passed. She pulled away and wiped her face, glancing around nervously. "No one has seen us, Havah." He brushed a stray wisp of hair away from her eyes. "I am your friend. What has happened?" Havah shook her head, staring despondently at the ground. She looked up at his thoughtful eyes. He had a vastly different view, it seemed, than most Minbari. And she had to speak to someone now, because she would never tell Neroon. "If I tell you this, swear that you will tell no one." "I swear, in the name of Valen." He peered at her earnestly. She took a deep breath. "Trell, I am half-Minbari, like Delenn. Except that I didnÕt transform myself. I was born that way. My parents were prisoners of a race that experimented on them. They escaped, but not before my mother was pregnant. The aliens used some sort of mind-control device to force them to mate, and then engineered my DNA from the union. I came here because I was asked. But I also wanted to know more about my father. I found out about the whole thing last year." He stared at her in amazement and horror, but said nothing that might insult her. "And have you found him?" "Yes. He doesnÕt know about me." "But you are his child. I know it is a terrible situation, but perhaps if you talkedÑ" "Trell, I just did!ÉI just did! He thinks of any being like me as an abomination. ThatÕs pretty much what he said. There is nothing to talk about." His eyes widened. "Satai Neroon?!!ÉAre you certain?" Havah motioned in assent, dropped her hand and turned away. "He gave my mother his name before they escaped. And she drew pictures of him. She didnÕt remember at first, see? The aliens erased their memories. But since my mother was pregnant, she needed to know what happened, and got a telepath to pull the memories out. ThatÕs why he has no clue. He wonÕt remember. He has no reason to." "In ValenÕs name!" "YouÕre telling me, brother!ÉLook, I mean it. No one can know about this." "I gave my word, and I will keep it. But Havah, parents should know their childrenÑ" "He doesnÕt want to know, Trell! Do you think he would feel anything but hatred and shame? All I can do is remind him of a moment of powerlessness." "Yes, but heÕs your fatherÑ" "And in what Fantasy-land do you think that fathers canÕt hate their children?! Take a good look at Earth orphanages and foster homes sometime. TheyÕre full of reality. Parenthood isnÕt a guarantee, there is no such thing!" "But this isnÕt Earth, Havah." "No, but IÕve been here long enough to find that Minbari arenÕt so different than Humans. I hope you do not take that for an insult. It is just true, in both good and bad ways. I think that sentient life always has some things that are in common. One of those things is the range of reactions that people can have to horror or trauma, and his reaction seems consistently to be rage." "Yes, that is true. We call that idea, of similar reactions among sentient beings, the Principles of Sentient LifeÉI understand why you make the choice to keep this knowledge. But it makes me very sad, and I hope that someday, things will be different for you. It is not your fault, what happened to them. You do understand this, yes?" "What difference would that make to him? And even if he wasnÕt inclined to hate me, what would happen to him in terms of caste and clan?" "I do not know. What happened was not his fault either. He could not have done other than he did." "And do you think that will matter to his caste or clan? As much he and I dislike one another, I didnÕt come here to ruin his career." Trell came and put his hands on her shoulders, and sighed. There was nothing he could think of to say to his friend. She was very likely correct, so he said nothing. She turned to face him. "Thank you for being here and listening and all. IÕm sorry I lost it for a few minutes there. IÕm going back to the compound." She turned and made to leave, but Trell stopped her. "You are very welcome, Havah. You have been a friend to me, and no matter what the Grey Council, Neroon, or you think of your existence, it is a fortunate one, not just for you, but for us. And regardless of how it came about, your heritage is a proud one." Havah nodded and was gone. * * * * * * * * Felshenn boiled at the HumanÕs words, from where he sat unseen behind a thick hedge. Seeing the storm in her face, he had slipped away, knowing his mentor had other matters to attend to, and followed her, only to nearly stumble into this melodrama. Satai Neroon with Human offspring?! Ridiculous! The Human was more malicious than the Satai had anticipated, propagating such lies. And yetÉher voice had the inimitable ring of truth. And her anguish had been genuine. He returned to his quarters and used his clearance to access a number of files. First, he looked up HavahÕs file in the alien registry. It listed her as Human, but that was not a surprise. He was an accomplished hacker and with some difficulty, hacked into her medical file. It would have to be there. And it was, a record from both her stay on Babylon 5, and her entrance exam from her arrival on Minbar. It helps to have a clan member set up the medical security codes! He thought wryly. But she had been telling the truth about at least part of it. She was indeed half-Minbari. Valen rescue us! He then used his security clearance to access shipÕs logs from a year before her Earth birth-date. He searched for a long time, telling himself every file, that this file was the last file he would search, and that he was not going to waste any more time catering to this nonsense! And then he found it, a file dating back thirty-two years in Human terms. Neroon had been traveling alone through the Epsilon sector, near where Babylon 5 was now. His ship had gone missing. He had been out of contact, and by the time any ships realized that something was amiss, and dispatched back-ups to the area, he had escaped. The subsequent report stated that he was found in a life pod, having escaped from a ship of unknown configuration at the time. The trail was too cold and the cruiser that found him had been unable to locate the enemy ship. The race later became known, through other abuses, as the Stribes. Neroon had described them thoroughly, one of the first detailed reports of their appearance and the configuration of their ships. But he had been unable to report some of what had happened on the ship, except their martial capabilities. He had vivid memories of seeing experimental victims, and surmised that they were a research vessel. This had been enough to allow the Minbari to thwart future encounters and prevent many excursions into Minbari space. Felshenn closed out the reports and just stared at the screen. The Human had been telling the truth. He hated to admit it, and wanted more proof, but he knew that she could not have known of this otherwise. Who else knew about this? * * * * * * * * There was a message waiting for Havah when she returned to her quarters. It was Kral Situr. "I just wanted to warn you that I brought up the plan you showed me at a council meeting, and recommended the enhancement of our own plans, and while many were very positive about it, I sensed a dissatisfaction from one among the Warrior Caste. I could not tell whether this irritation was at us, and so I thought it prudent to let you know of the reaction. I do hope that this does not have any negative fallout, and apologize if it does. I heard that someone spoke to Satai Neroon about the idea, and that he did not respond well. I know that you came to us with the desire to share information and this is appreciated, by others in the guild as well as myself. I wished you to know this, in case any unfavorable words reach your ears. I will also pass our appreciation on to Entilzah Sinclair. We will take the enhancement and emergency planning from here, but call me if you have any questions." Too late, Havah thought. NeroonÕs already been here. But at least a few people donÕt think of me as a ÔplagueÕ. I thoroughly messed that one up. For all of SinclairÕs diplomacy training, I hope he ainÕt hoping for much, because Mahatma Gandhi, IÕll never be. A chime sounded at the door. It was Birin and Trell. Birin was toting a container which she opened for Havah to look at. "I know that we are supposed to leave our commanding officers alone to their deliberations, but I also know that you never went to get dinner, and my family sent me this. You have never had any, and so I thought it would be more rude not to offer any." "What is it?" Havah sat down and invited them to sit with a casual gesture. "Chol sha. It means Ôsweet deathÕ. It is a confection." "ThatÕs an encouraging name." But HavahÕs sweet tooth got the better of her and she took a small piece of the plain cracker that Bir held out and scooped up some of the fluff in the ornate container. It was sticky and very sweet, and had a slight after-taste of treacle. Interesting. She didnÕt like it at first, but the taste started to grow on her, and she finished up the cracker and took another. "Thank you. ItÕs very good." Birin grinned. "You know that Sech Yurenn kept talking about you, in our hand- to-hand class. He knew that you had taken some other kind of martial art, but he told all of the Humans to keep in mind how you move, and deflect and confuse the opponent rather than trying to power through the moves. Many of the larger Minbari kept relying on force. He did not have to tell any of the smaller students to try another way." She glanced meaningfully at the considerably larger Trell, who smiled and looked affronted. "I did not do this!" "No, not as dramatically as some of the other males." She teased. His face colored, and Havah noticed for the second time the chemistry between the two Minbari. They had gotten considerably closer. His eyes rested fondly on BirinÕs laughing face. And then Bir caught Havah gazing at them with a bemused look. "I know what you are thinking Anlashok Na Lassee, but we are proper Minbari!" "Uh-huh." Havah said, grinning smugly. "I donÕt know what you are talking about, IÕm not thinking anythingÉexcept that yÕall are a cute couple." "Yes!" Said Bir, laughing pointedly. "Although I do not know that either of our families will think so. Mine is still displeased that I joined the Anla Shok, even though I have been talking about it for years." "Why would anyone have a problem?" A sad note came into TrellÕs voice. "Our families areÉradically different, in caste, in profession." "Oh." Havah looked at him steadily. "I still donÕt understand a lot about your culture, but I am beginning to understand that. So what do you mean to do?" "Nothing for now. We areÉwhat is the Human expression? ÔPlaying things by ear.Õ What a peculiar turn of phrase. I get such a strange image from that, but I suppose I can see how it originated, since so many other races have such large ears compared to the Minbari!" Birin slyly glanced at her, while innocuously popping a cracker in her mouth. "Very cute. ÔThe better to hear you with, my dear!Õ" Bir grinned. "My family is confusing. They have always encouraged me, and other cousins as well, to follow the calling of our hearts, and do what we believe is right, and yet they complain when that does not turn out to be as they thought it would, or as they would have done. They think that DelennÕs recent actions have had a bad influence on me." "Oh boy! You can join twenty-million other rebellious people in Earth Alliance, who have the same problem with their families." "I thought that Humans were independent though, that your culture stressed that paradigm, rather than conformity?" "Well, yes. Some do, in some cultures, the one you see the most of. But even we didnÕt get there without a lot of roof-raising, hair-pulling, family-busting arguments!" "I see. I do not wish to Ôbust my familyÕ. But we will see what the future brings." She looked at Trel, who smiled patiently. "I guess it is good that I have no hair to pull." Havah burst out laughing. "Well, since you are here, I wanted to ask you, Trel, if you still have any business connections on Earth?" "Yes, quite a few. My mentor was a master artisan, she knew many affluent Humans in the trade, both buyers and other artisans." "Good. I havenÕt made any decisions yet, but I may call on you to use those connections in the near future. Do you have any problems with that?" "No, that would be logical." Between the three of them, they polished off the contents of BirinÕs container. "Oh, man, Bir, we just finished all of your sweet death stuff. You know we have a similar dessert, at least in name, called ÔDeath by ChocolateÕ. IÕm sorry! Your family sent you that!" "It is fine, Havah, that is why I brought it. I cannot finish all of that by myself! Just give me some of your ÔDeath by ChocolateÕ if you ever get some." "Not on duty. ItÕs aÉit acts like marijuana for Minbari!" "What is marijuana?" Trel piped in with his extensive knowledge of Human street substances, which appeared to have grown since the last time they had spoken. The man was a regular chemist. "It is a drug derived from a plant that grows natively across the North and South American continents. It produces a substance called a cannibinoid. In Human history, they have ingested and smoked this plant in order to derive a sensation of peace, well-being, and relaxationÑ" "Thank you, Dr. Happy!" Havah cut in, as Bir looked a little too interested. "That must be why chocolate is forbidden on the list of foreign foods. Because we are supposed to be able to derive that sensation from meditation." "Uh, that would probably be a safe guess." Bir still looked insatiably curious, and Trel just smiled angelicly. Great, why donÕt I just toss them a few pox-ridden blankets! Havah thought caustically. But Trel continued. "Do not worry, Havah! I will contact my old mentor and start collecting information on her contacts." "Thanks, Trel. And thank you very much for the treat, Bir! IÕll bake a batch of shortbreads sometime before I leave for Earth or something. IÕm going to be heading there to set up a few networks. IÕll see you guys in a few days, or before I leave, in any case." "I will look forward to it. Good night, Havah." Bir grabbed Trel by the hand and they headed out. Just before they left, Havah remembered something she had wanted to ask more about. "Hey, you know what I did recently? I went with KataniÕs family to their thanksgiving ritual. They had a huge feast, and then they went down to the shore and sang all of these candles out onto the ocean. It was harmonic throat singing, and everyone did it! It was the most amazing thing IÕve ever seen! Can all Minbari do that so easily? It is a very hard skill for Humans to acquire." Trel and Bir exchanged significant looks. "They let you hear that?!ÉYou must mean a great deal to KataniÕs family. That is one of the most ancient forms of both language and art among the Minbari. For an off-worlder to see itÉWell, you must not be an off-worlder to them. It is also surprising that you were physically able to hear some of it. My understanding was that Human ears do not hear within entirely the same range as Minbari. But that just proves what an unusual Human you are, and that you are getting closer to us. We already knew that." Birin beamed, and they left. What a weird conversation. Havah thought as she got ready for bed. * * * * * * * * Ironically, the administrative assistant of the executive director of EAEMA, the Earth Alliance Emergency Management Agency, had just quit, without giving two weeks notice. So Sinclair found it easier than he might have, to get her assigned. It was an open competitive position. She passed the oral boards easily, and with a call from Sinclair, and from Carmen, her old supervisor, she had it. She was to leave straightaway. After helping Sinclair to dole out assignments to the other Anla Shok, and saying her goodbyes, she made ready to leave. * * * * * * * * Her flyer was packed and she was about to board, when a lanky Minbari warrior leaned in front of the hatch. It was NeroonÕs aide. The hangar was empty. He gazed at her levelly for a few moments with light brown eyes. "For an Anla Shok, you are not very good at keeping secrets, or making sure that you cannot be heard. I heard everything you said the other day to your friend. In fact, I would not be surprised if half of Minbar heard you." Her black eyes spit venom at him. She tired of this riposte before it began. "Are you finished? I have things to do!" He glided up and stood in front of her, an inch from her, staring into her eyes. He might have been very handsome if she hadnÕt thoroughly detested the soldiers by now. "For once, you made a correct choice, Human! I will keep your secret as well. But I would recommend that you be more careful about your outbursts in the future. If Satai Neroon suffers for this, I will see to it that you are the one shamed!" "Drop dead! And get out of my way, unless you want me to tell everyone that you were hanging around my ship with nothing better to do!" He glared, indolently taking his time to move out of her path and swagger away. She flopped into the seat and punched a blank spot on the panel, and contemplated taping a doodle of his face there. Well, she was headed to Earth anyway, for a whole new set of problems. But it would be good to be home again. * * * * * * * * Neroon had experienced enough of Havah LasseeÕs disrespect. It had taken more willpower than he cared to think about to restrain himself from throttling her, so he had let her go past him without further comment, knowing her next word would find his gloves about her throat. Delenn and Sinclair were bad enough! He meditated in his quarters to suppress all of the niggling annoyances that seemed to be conspiring against his efficiency in bringing Minbari policy and attention back to where it needed to be: on Minbar. After going over the Grey CouncilÕs proceedings for the past few years prior to DelennÕs removal, and busying his eager aide with paperwork for a few hours, it was time to retire and he tried. Finally, he dropped off. She was there. The sea-maiden. He could feel her luminous eyes upon him, and her silken fingers brushing his skin. He touched her soft lips with his hand and let it slide down her curves. Her eyes fed him. Finally someone who could see his heart, who knew him without talking. He must have known her before, another life perhaps? Her face morphed and Havah LasseeÕs coal-black eyes stared into his. All of his previous resentment flooded into him until he noticed her stagger back, face laced with pain. There was blood everywhere and she collapsed in front of him as dark terrible spider-like shapes closed in a circle around her. The sound of their warbling was the sound of the air rending. He rushed forward, beating back the shadows, but the girl faded into the ground before his eyes. He kneeled and felt the earth where she had been, but she didnÕt come back, and an inexplicable desperation and sorrow filled him. He fell forward and the shadows clustered in and pressed him down into fog. An alien gray face with elongated black eyes appeared before him. He sat bolt-upright, blasted dreams! Nonsense! But as his feet hit the chilly floor he knew that he had seen that gray face before. Years ago, on a ship they now called a Stribe ship. They were grotesque beings with the same clinical view of other life forms as the Dilgar, although less aggressive, so far. He went to the computer and accessed the report he had given years ago, but it provided little illumination, except for one reference to a strange alien woman who had assisted in their escape, a woman with long black hair and golden eyes. Daybreak came slowly. End Part II, The Long Trial