PART 4 - Tools of Dishonor by Sunraven, June, 2001 Neroon watched Lenann hurry out of the room, and said, "Was it something I said?" Terra, giving off empathic vibes as cold as a Warrior Caste's heart, responded. "He was probably embarrassed by the fool you were making of yourself over that female." "Sorat? We are old friends. There was no foolish behavior involved." "If you can't tell how she feels about you, Neroon, then you are even more clueless than I thought you were." "Clueless? How she feels about me?" He repeated, puzzled. "We have been friends since before the war. There is nothing more between us." "It sure didn't sound, or feel that way to me!" Her eyes were shining emerald now, a sure sign of intense anger. Slowly, dimly, Neroon looked as if he finally realized what this conversation was about. And he had the effrontery to laugh very loudly. She came up close to him and snarled, "What is so funny?" "You are. Terra, I believe you are jealous of Sorat!" "I am not jealous!" She grabbed his armor and pulled him closer to her angry face. "IÖIf you ever touch her, or any female, again in my presence, Neroon, then you will feel pain as you have never felt before, do you hear me?" After she said it, Terra wondered where the hell that had come from. It sure wasn't what she had planned to say. The banked fire in his eyes flared with passion as he said with a smile, "Now that sounds intriguing." Then he pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly. When he finally let her go, her legs were shaking so badly she could hardly stand. She collapsed on the couch and groaned, "My ribs are crushed, you black-suited gorilla." He stood there looking down at her for a few seconds. Then he reached up and unclasped his armor tunic with a strong sexual finality that made her shiver inside. He dropped the black suit on a nearby table, which groaned with the impact, and came over to the couch. She eyeballed him with alarm as he approached. "What do you think you're doing Neroon? Don't come any closer." A little smile came to his lips. "Why, Terra, I would almost think you were afraid to be close to me. Why?" He sat down on the couch right next to her, waiting for an answer. His warm presence and the feelings of arousal radiating from him felt hot enough to scorch her. Absently he reached up and started to unbraid and unpin her hair. He always had liked it down and flowing. "Stop it!" She protested, without much strength. His touch was like fire on her nerves as the bond between them opened wide again. She reached up to his busy hands and took them in her smaller ones. "Neroon, this is a not a good idea." "Of course it isn't!" he snapped, "It wasn't when it first happened at the peace talks or when you brought Kalain's body home, and it isn't now. So what? You know how I feel about you, and you must feel the same, or you wouldn't be jealous of Sorat. It has been a very long time, and I am tired of living on memories. So what if we can't be together forever? The time is now. Leave tomorrow for another day." She fought her way up from the onslaught of his red hot emotions, gathering her wits together with all of her tremendous strength of character. She gently touched his face. "Oh, Neroon. I do still care for you a great deal, and I find you so damn attractive. But your words to me yesterday made me realize how much has changed between us. So many things have changed during the time we have been apart. We have changed. I'm not sure that we should move this fast, or that loving you wouldn't hurt me." His face mirrored a combination of hurt and frustrated anger. "I would break my own heart in pieces before I would hurt you, my heart." He pushed away from her and stood up. "I will not force myself on you, you do not need to fear that. You will come to me of your own will, or not at all." She made a strategic withdrawal from his annoyance and hurt feelings and hurried into her bedroom. Unfortunately, she couldn't leave her guilt behind, or her yearning to be in his arms again. Terra sat on a couch, and meditated. She knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to talk herself out of making love to him, because she was very sorely tempted. All of the tired old arguments came out and paraded themselves in front of her. Not leading him on. Too soon after Ledann. Nothing could ever be permanent. If any Minbari found out, it would mean Neroon's career, etc., etc. Then she thought of the way his dark eyes lit up in that special way only for her. Well, her and a good skin dancing opportunity, anyway. And the way his casual touch could still send chills down her entire body. But she wasn't 25 years old anymore, and completely swept off her feet by a handsome and charismatic young Alyt. She was 37 years old and had watched her husband being beat almost to death right in front of her. She had a mind, wasn't just a connection of random impulses, to give in every time a handsome man touched her. Even when that man was Neroon. She thought of what he had done last night, watching to see her true face. She knew his true face intimately. Knew the honor and humor and sensuality that lurked under that killer persona. But loving him again - could it really happen? He smothered her with the strong emotions he gave off, she always felt like she was losing herself in him. Look at that jealous moment earlier. That wasn't her. She'd never been jealous before in her life. Finally, wearily, she changed into her nightgown and fell onto the tilted bed, almost immediately asleep. The next morning, Terra opened her eyes and felt Neroon's presence. She sat up on her elbows and saw him. He had pulled up a chair close to the bed, and was sitting on it. "Neroon, have you been here all night? Don't you ever ask for permission?" "I never went to sleep. After you slumbered, I decided to watch your true face again. Oh, and I also made sure that you didn't fall from the bed." The gentleness in his voice showed her that he harbored no hard feelings against her for her running away the previous night. "Are you trying to go for the traditional three nights, or something?" "I think so, yes. " "I'm not going to even ask why you would want to do that. And what did you see last night?" He smiled and ran a callused finger down her nightgowned shoulder that burned into her nerves like fire. "It was difficult. There was much to distract me, especially when the blanket fell off. But I saw a glimpse of Sador's soul again, I think. I didn't know her, but the Shai Alyt described her to me." "I would be honored to be carrying her soul, I think." She said simply, adding, "Would you mind too much giving me a little privacy, Neroon? I would like to get up and get dressed." He got up and leisurely strolled out to have breakfast with Lenann. The com vid chimed during breakfast. It was Chakur, and he asked if Fleet Captain Lenann would like to do some denn-bok training that afternoon. Lenann said he would enjoy that, and Neroon said that he would like to come as well. He also told Chakur that Terra would be coming with them, so that he had better warn his people to be polite. Chakur didn't like that, but he put up with it so that he didn't annoy Lenann too much. That afternoon, the largest training area in the ship was chosen for the denn-bok training, yet it was still packed solid with warriors. It seemed that anyone who could finagle a way off of duty showed up. Lenann watched different partners sparring, and made corrections while doing so. Terra found it amazing that he could watch about 10 sets spar at the same time, and still not miss a single mistake. When she mentioned it to Neroon, he said that Durhan could watch 20 sparring sets at one time. He wouldn't miss even a minute error in the way a pike was held, as though he had eyes in the back of his head. But he did grudgingly admit that Lenann was a born teacher of the denn-bok. After the sparring training, Chakur made a formal request that Lenann demonstrate his techniques for handling multiple opponents. Terra sensed some ulterior motive in the Captain. Maybe Chakur had hopes that Lenann wouldn't be up to fighting five warrior caste opponents at the same time, and she felt a moment of unease, fearing for her gentle cousin. She needn't have worried. Lenann took one of them down within seconds of the match starting. Two more were de-weaponed in rapid succession. The fourth and fifth put up a better fight, but went down as well under the Religious Caste's skilled onslaught. After that, a time out was called for Lenann to rest, and for the physician to see to the opponents' minor injuries. Terra smiled at Lenann and said admiringly, "You really know how to handle your pike, you know that?" The deliberate double entendre made his eyes shine, and a slight blush cross his face. He was really enjoying her admiration, she could feel, and he said modestly, "I had two of the best teachers, Branmer and Durhan." Chakur got up in front of the group and asked if anyone had the courage to challenge Lenann to a one on one duel. Everyone looked at each other, but after watching the multiple opponent match, no one jumped up to volunteer. On seeing Lenann's smirk, Neroon stood up, uncompressed his pike, his eyes burning with solar intensity, and said in his rolling voice. "I will challenge Fleet Captain Lenann to a denn-bok match." A buzz of excitement went around the group. Neroon was also supposed to be one of the best on Minbar with the denn-bok. Before he went out onto the floor, he turned to Sorat, who had seated herself next to him on the floor, and said quietly, "I charge you to protect Dr. McClare, Sorat, while I and Fleet Captain Lenann are in the match. Will you see to her safety?" The woman looked quickly at Terra, bowed her head, and said in a deep female voice, "I will gladly protect the one who brought back my brother's death thoughts from the Trigati." And she moved closer to the human, scanning the area quickly for danger. Throughout the match, though the temptation must have been great, the Alyt never once ceased her vigilance. The match was an awesome one, if you like long denn-bok matches. After the first few hours or so of thumps and whacks, Terra, her shields set at maximum to keep out her two friends' pains from the blows they were both receiving, started getting bored. She could see that Neroon was very good, but even her naïve eyes could see that Lenann was better. She meditated a while, then she scanned the crowd for malign intent towards her. She didn't pick up anything really strongly, other than the normal nastiness from Chakur. She turned to the Alyt beside her and said, "I don't sense any strong malign intent towards me, Alyt Sorat, if you would like to enjoy the denn-bok match." "I would be neglecting my duty if I did that, Dr. McClare." "Your brother was on the Trigati? What was his name?" The warrior's gray eyes glanced at her, then she responded, "My brother was Kalain, Dr. McClare." "Kalain was your brother?" All of a sudden Terra could see the resemblance between the Alyt and the doomed Captain of the Trigati. "Yes, I can see the resemblance now that you mention it. Your brother was a very brave man, and a good, honorable leader. He was also the biggest Minbari I have ever seen in my life! I called him a stubborn organic planet with the mind of a tree once, before we finally came to our agreement over the death recordings." Sorat smiled at that. "Organic planet. I like that. He was always that way. My mother used to complain when we were children that she couldn't keep food in the house, at the rate he shoveled it away." The warrior hesitated for a moment. "It is said that you spent his last moments with him, after he took the poison." Terra nodded. "I did. He didn't want me to, but I couldn't let such an honorable man go to the sea of stars without even one well-wisher present. I felt his soul as it passed from his body with my empathic gift. I will feel the sadness for the loss of him from your people for the rest of my life, even if he did call me an impudent squeaking rodent-sized human several times." At that, the serious Alyt let out a laugh, which traveled a bit of distance through the transfixed quiet of the training room. Ducking her head in embarrassment, Sorat said quietly, "Thank you for doing his death watch, Doctor. I am glad that he had one person around him that wasn't an enemy when he made the great sacrifice." "You are welcome, Alyt. I just wish I had been a better negotiator, then perhaps I could have gotten them to come home." The sadness in her eyes touched the warrior's heart. "He followed his heart, as did the entire crew, Doctor. They are greatly honored by us for it." Right then, a loud crack made Terra jump. Neroon's denn-bok went flying out of his hands and flew across the room to loudly bounce off the wall on the other side. Neroon didn't look at all happy, but he congratulated Lenann, and bowed deeply to him all the same. Then he came back to where Terra and Sorat were sitting. "Satai Neroon, Lenann is tired, and he's never going to admit it to Chakur." The Fleet Captain was still standing in the middle of a group of congratulators, with a well-deserved smirk of pride on his face that was worthy of Neroon at his most arrogant. Neroon nodded, his irritation showing because Terra hadn't even asked how he felt. It didn't matter that Terra knew that he would get embarrassed and insulted if she acted solicitous in front of the other warriors, and that he knew she knew that. He was still irritated and jealous. He did turn to Chakur to suggest that they had done enough for the day, however. Terra again felt the strong feelings Sorat had for Neroon. She turned to her and whispered, "I am sorry, Alyt, for being intrusive, but your feelings are so loud to me. Have you ever let the Satai know how you feel for him?" The warrior, flushing, tried to act like she had no idea what Terra was talking about. Terra continued, rather relentlessly, "Do not blame yourself for showing your feelings. You do know I'm a class 25 empath, don't you? You gave no outward signs, but I couldn't help but sense it." The other woman looked away, her face staying red. "IÖdiscussed it with him once, in general, when he was still Alyt. About why he hadn't taken a mate, though he has had more opportunities than most. He said that his heart had been given away a long time ago to someone who he could never have as a mate, and he could never ask another woman to be his mate with no heart to give her." "He is very honorable. I can see him saying that." Inside she was glowing with pleasure, and with guilt at her own lack of faithfulness, as well. "Yes. Lenann and Neroon came back to them, both giving off discomfort from injuries received during the sparring. Terra said goodbye to Sorat, and they all went back to their suite. Once inside, she turned to the two warriors and said, "All right. Which one of you is first to be treated?" "We are fine, Terra. We do not need medical treatment." Neroon looked at the Religious Caste and said with a smile, "She is a class 25 empath, Lenann. Lying to her doesn't work. I know. I've tried it. You may treat me first, Doctor." Terra took him into his room and treated a massive bone bruise on his shin that would have crippled a Human, as well as a bad bump and abrasion on his forehead. She ordered him to rest, then went outside to do the same to Lenann. "I am really fine, Terra. I need nothing." "Well that's funny, Lenann, because I sense a broken rib and a broken finger, as well as an enormous contusion to your abdomen. I need to make sure there isn't internal bleeding there. I'll go get my medical scanner while you undress." With warrior caste-like annoyance he did as she bade, and she was relieved to see that the abdominal wall had not been punctured. The broken rib was easily taped, and she put a plasti-splint and a pain tab on his hand and said, "I would like you to rest for a day or so before you spar again, if possible." He nodded. "Lenann!" "Yes, Terra?" She gave him a mock leer and said, "You are even cuter without your uniform on than with it!" Then she laughed at his shocked look. "I'm sorry. I know that was unprofessional of me as a physician, but you are so serious most of the time, I just couldn't resist! Will you forgive me, clansman?" He smiled at her and said, "Of course, clanswoman, right after I tell Satai Neroon what you just said!" "You wouldn't dare!" "I won't. I couldn't resist saying that, though. You do seem to bring out the worst in us males, Terra. Even poor Chakur." "I know, it's a knack I have, I guess. And I don't bring out the fact that Chakur is a big stupid oaf. He does just fine all on his own." She gave her clansman a mock glare. "Now you rest for a few hours and let my treatments work, all right?" "Yes, Terra." In her own room she kept watch over both men for a while with her empathic senses. Terra suddenly felt a strong feeling of contentment slip into her soul. Neroon was correct. Leave tomorrow until another time, and enjoy today. That was the best way to get the most out of life. Part 5: Skin dancing exercises!